So, I still haven't finished this book, but here's the therapist's solution:
Can’t heal through self-love because we've externalized the source of salvation (160), so through healing our partners by giving them the love they needed as children and still need now we are recovering an essential part of ourselves! (162)
We have to change and recover our lost self and as we do this we heal our partners!
It's an interesting hypothesis, and I guess if I have this right, a proper "soul-mate" is someone like our parents but wants to actually grow and change. If not, a relationship will not work. But, I don't understand how this connects to accepting people as they are and not wanting to change them. This is a particularly important point in intimate relationships. Plus, I would never want to be in a relationship with the negative traits of my caretakers...or would I?
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