So, I have this new truth springing up within me. Perhaps it's not new really, but I'm starting to be able to speak it. Here it is: I can't imagine really living that grown-up life with house, family, 9 to 5, the nuclear family, and now I'm pretty sure I don't have to at all. This morning I woke up from a dream saying this mantra: "Why would I ever go back?" Now, I'm not just talking about escaping abusive relationships, which I really think are so prevalent in our world; I'm speaking about escaping the traditional home altogether. Of course, I don't think this necessarily means I must be liberated from having children, but as far as I can tell so far, children are a "package deal" and the package (hehe) is not what I'm looking for...not at all.
And, I'm moving to a commune to try it out. www.quailsprings.org. Who knows if I will be able to handle it. I certainly like the city life in part with the varied happenings, the many diverse people, and the excitement. I have four days before living on the land, and I'm just rolling in the fb world, internet life, bar and night life, l.a. life, go go go life. Four days to go, and I'm nervously eating it all up. It's my gluttonous side, and mardi gras is this weekend. Watch out.
But, I'm still looking forward to going as well. I'm starting a new journal, preparing for the rehab detox of country living, and looking forward to the transformation burgeoning in me.
This liminality (I love this word) feels like this perhaps because I am in love with song so much these days: