At this present pleasant moment, I'm people watching at the airport. I see a young man talking on his cell -- he just said "a'right." I hear the woman next to me eating chips, and I wish she would pass them my way, but we're strangers, and I imagine she would be offended if I asked her for one. A couple nearby are reading the funnys in the paper (is that what we actually call them?) while he rubs her neck. An older guy in a brown blazer is inspecting his laptop, and another girl is putting make-up on. Some 90's soft rock is playing in the background, which makes the whole scene a bit sedating perhaps. And I? I just found a hostel to stay in tonight in Berkeley (thank goodness!). I'm thinking about how strange and fascinating people are, and I'm wishing I were salsa dancing just now. The carpet would make it difficult. :)
There is a community of the Spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street, and being the noise. Drink all your passion, and be a disgrace. Close both eyes to see with the Other Eye. Open your hands if you want to be held. Consider what you've been doing! Why do you stay with such a mean- spirited and dangerous partner? For the security of having food, admit it! Here's a better arrangement: Give up this life, and get a hundred new lives. Sit down in this circle. Quit acting like a wolf, and feel the Shepherd's Love filling you. At night, your Beloved wanders. Don't take pain-killers. Tonight, no consolations. And don't eat. Close your mouth against food. Taste the lover's mouth in yours. You moan, "But she left me. He left me." Twenty more will come. Be empty of worrying Think of Who Created Thought! Why do you stay in prison When the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in Silence. Flow down and down in always Widening rings of Being.
Met a good friend at Masa in Echo Park. I sure like this place and the time travel store down the way.
http://www.masaofechopark.com/
Our meal and time together really blessed my spirit. Lots of synergy, compassion, and Wabi Sabi.
"Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." - Leonard Cohen
"I'm scared to try cause I'm scared to fail I'm scared to die cause I'm scared of hell I'm scared to kiss scared to hug I'm scared of sex cause I'm scared to touch
I'm scared to look cause I'm scared to see I'm scared of you cause I'm scared of me I'm scared to fly cause I'm scared to crash I'm scared to move on so I live in the past
I'm scared to fight cause I'm scared to bleed I'm scared of love cause I'm scared he'll live I'm scared of drugs I'm scared to drink I'm scared to swim cause I'm scared to sink
This may sound silly but it's true So don't pretend it ain't you too We all afraid of something here Cause you ain't human with out fear
Scared to grow up cause I'm scared to grow old Scared of the dark and beign alone I'm scared of war I'm scared of jail Scared to share a secret cause I'm scared you'll tell
This may sound silly but it's true So don't pretend it ain't you too We all afraid of something here Cause you ain't human with out fear"
Are we really not human without fear? And, what about the thought that the only thing to fear is...
I know I'm a bit late in the game, but I'm just discovering T and S. Remember when I was Sweet and unexplainable Nothing like this person, Unlovable
Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love Look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen
Reminds me of Mates of the State. JillyG introduced me to them oh so long ago in ...2000?
I particularly enjoy their "Everyone Needs an Editor."
I feel right all the time I am right all the time
(Well, oh well let's call it quits) Runaway forever Cut me some slack It's my side of the mountain
(Well, oh well let's call it quits) Right away if I could And if I might It's my side of the bed
I color the sky with you I let you choose the blue
Reminds me of a song J-A used to sing. Walked up a hill today came to the sky. There I was. I could hardly believe I had reached it so suddenly. ...My beautiful blue away?
Visited my great-aunt with the grammie the other day. My family is strange, kind of insane, and beautiful. Spain, New Mexico, Germany, California -- love, responsibility, abuse, murder.
Later that day, my grammie and aunt helped me remove my dreads and told me their personal love stories.
On the way back from SD, my brother and I visited an old childhood friend who lives by the shore. She was sitting on the beach with her baby, and we took a walk on the sand. I talked to J-A as we walked.
San Clemente is a wonderful place, and I'm glad our friend lives there.
So, I'm wondering what is the difference between cat and dog people? My brother is thinking about getting a new family dog, and I suggested a cat instead. He didn't like that idea. But look.... Wouldn't she be nice to have in your home? Let's name her "Dinah."
Been reading a short story by a friend, "God is a Chalk Artist." I feel it is about love and living. It's about the story called love in all the confusion and miscommunication. My story? Everyone's story?
This line, "The first time is awkward," rings so true with me. And yet, I believe we expect the first time to be amazing. I'm thinking it's time for me to accept the amazingly awkward firsts of life.
I was inspired by a writer's online bio to write one of my own. It's shamelessly like the one online, so call the plagarism squad.
Cristy Rose is currently respectably employed in Long Beach, California by the California State School system, subversively inviting to young men and women to think in her English 100 classes. She hopes to get back home to Santa Fe, New Mexico next summer to stay.
While Cristy Rose is living with a broken heart just now, she credits her guru, Mary Oliver, for her mantra..." You only have to let the soft animal of your body Love what it loves." Besides a passion for CSI: Las Vegas, Cristy Rose is borderline logos/sophos-obsessive. She is an old-school aesthetic ascetic - i.e., she won't be leading the Revolution, but she'll be celebrating the ebb and flow along the way while shouting “viva la revolucion!”
A story about a father's love for his daughter. It explores compassion, forgiveness, guilt, and a father "saving" his daughter.
The last lines are the father's "discussion" with God.
God says, I am a Father too. But You never had a daughter and, if You had, You could not have borne her passion. So, He says, you love her more than you love Me. I love her more than I love truth. Then you love in weakness, He says. As You love me, I say....
I'm not sure what to make it of it all. The father-daughter relationship is important for sure. They say that once a man becomes a father, he changes radically. I see all these advertisements around that read, "Take time to be a dad today."
The influence on daughters and really everyone is great. Reminds me of:
Boys soldiering, girls cleaning up the mess, women and their good, good hearts.
I noticed the words "men" or "man" don't appear in the song. I wonder if the "solution" is looking at men and masculinity. There seems to be no "owning up" to how to help in the "now" this girl who is an ever-changing maze (in the larger maze of misogyny?). Mayer asks for prevention in the future, but what will he do now that he's "done all [he] can"? Is he simply saying, "not my responsibility" and leaving off until the next generation?
Or, is it realistic? We all have limitations, right? It seems the other side of the continuum is Dubus' story of a father saving his daughter from the consequences of her own actions.
Overall(!), perhaps the larger question is if God had a "daughter" instead of a "son," would men-women/father-daughter relationships be so different?
You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees. For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body Love what it loves.
The Journey
One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice -- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do -- determined to save the only life you could save.
I'm usually a fan of threes and fours, at sometimes, tens. Recently, twos seem to be the trend. It's probably a sign. I wonder what it means. What does it all mean?
To bring in the new year, I stayed at Deer Park Monastery. I have been reading Thich Nhat Hanh and practicing peace in my life, and when I discovered this sanctuary in "the great hidden mountain," I decided I needed to go. I'm sure grateful I did. Happiness is here and now. The bell to bring us to our veg meals. I sat by the bell and sun-bathed.
The path to my tent. The labyrinth on the mountain top. Family on one of our walks.
Breathing in, Breathing out. I am a blossoming flower. I am fresh as the dew. I am solid as the mountain. I am firm as the earth. I am free. I am water reflecting what is real and true. I feel there is space deep inside of me. I am free.
This is the tree behind home. It lights up every year after Thanksgiving and stays till after the New Year. Since today is Epiphany, I imagine it is leaving again soon. Ahhh, I will miss you, friend of my childhood.
So, I've had this Ipod Touch for a while, and I just don't think it's that helpful for me. This Christmas, dad got me an Ipod speaker thing, and I just don't want it I think. Hm....I do like those Ipod commercials:
Work your thing out
Theres so many-a girls I hear you been running From the beautiful queen That you could be becoming You can look at my palm And see the storm coming Read the book of my life And see I've overcome it Just because the length of your hair ain't long And they often criticize you for your skin tone Wanna hold your head high Cause you're a pretty woman Get your runway stride home And keep going Girl live ya life
I just wanna be myself Don't sweat girl be yourself Follow me Follow me Follow me Girl be yourself That's why I be myself And I'm gonna love it
Let em get mad They gonna hate anyway Don't you get that? Doesn't matter if you're going on with their plan They'll never be happy Cause they're not happy with themselves
Na na work what you got I'm talking bout things that I know Na na work what you got It's okay show yourself some love Na na work what you got Don't worry bout who's saying what It's gonna be fine Work what you got
Feelin great because the light's on me Celebrating the things that everyone told me Would never happen but God has put his hands on me And aint a man alive could ever take it from me Working with what I got I gotta keep on Taking care of myself I wanna live long Aint never ashamed what life did to me
Wasn't afraid to change cause it was good for me I wanna...
I just wanna be myself Don't sweat girl be yourself Follow me Follow me Follow me Girl be yourself That's why I be myself And I'm gonna love it
Let em get mad They gonna hate anyway Don't you get that? Doesn't matter if you're going on with their plan They'll never be happy Cause they're not happy with themselves
Na na work what you got I'm talking bout things that I know Na na work what you got It's okay show yourself some love Na na work what you got Don't worry bout who's saying what It's gonna be fine Work what you got
