This week I feel so swamped and overwhelmed. Perhaps I'm on the cusp of something new? Hopefully.
I'm frustrated, too, with: unreliability when it comes to my computer and internet access. Rich people woes, I know. But, perhaps, there's also an underlying frustration with something much bigger: wanting all my loved ones closer in proximity and wanting to know where I belong.
Certainly, my dissertation asks me to go into that space of wanting and longing for a home where I fit in, where I am normal, where I am loved for all my diversity and multiplicity. So, I'm willingly diving into some of the deepest pains of my life. Luckily, I have therapy, yoga, my daily practices, and, of course, friends in the Bay Area.
I've also had four friends visit from So Cal, which has been satisfying. Somehow I feel more whole when old friends from around California (CSU Long Beach, Quail Springs Cuyama, the Abundant Table Ventura County, and Whittier) visit me.
Altogether, I think perhaps I just need a bit more space for myself. That's what we've been talking about in therapy. Claiming our bodies, our spirits, our "this is mine" in all safety and creativity.