14 November 2013

Here I am: At the Gloria Anzaldúa Society's Conference (held every 18 months!)

And, it feels important.  First, I just feel honored to be among such amazing mujeres, one of them my wonderful second reader for my dissertation. 

The fact that tomorrow, around 10am, I will be sharing my own research and voice, leaves me a bit intimated but also in deep gratitude.  

Tonight at the opening reception, I read Anzaldúa's words, "writing is a sensuous act," and I felt inspired.  Why, yes! Thank you, Gloria, for reminding me that writing is or can be an embodied practice observing and bringing about transformation.  I certainly understand that as well as what you spoke about when you said, "We want to feel the wounds...and put ourselves back together in a powerful composition [so that] wounds become bridges."  

In fact, these last couple weeks -- as I have been writing for the dissertation, for proposals, and for paper presentations -- have brought about a good deal of wounds, bridges, and transformation.  With the solar eclipse and new moon, FIRE and fierceness followed me, and I initiated new conversations and relationships in my life.  It felt powerful to be able to manifest my desires.  

Then, the following weekend, at the Alchemy Conference, I tripped coming down a staircase and fell backward onto my ankle, spraining it badly.  Needless to say, the weekend became one of vulnerability and of receiving profound love and medicine from the women-healers at the conference.  My sacral chakra wounding also seemed very strong, and perhaps it was also that I was ovulating, but I cried a lot that weekend.  As a friend and colleague asked me today, I'm wondering, "what's at the top and bottom of the stairs? and why would I (coming down the staircase) almost fall forward in the middle, push back, and fall backward instead"?

Finally, after stopping home in LA to rest a bit and see my Oliver dog, I journeyed to San Antonio where I am staying with my kindred spirit from our childlike highschool and college days.  And, at the conference here (El Mundo Zurdo), I will be presenting a condensed form of my dissertation and using the time as a chance to practice my dissertation defense.  

However, at the same time, I'm considering taking an additional semester for school for a variety of reasons -- a change in relationships, waiting for some money to come through, taking time to publish in the safety of school, taking a break while I can/before I start a job --  and I spoke with my dissertation chair today too.  She called me actually, which is kind of amazing, and I listened.  I hope to talk with my second reader tomorrow about it all too.

Now, one more read through, then bed, and then la mañana.

No comments: