07 January 2010

living in the past.

woke up this morning in the past after dreaming about a conversation with victor vincent, an old high school friend. We were talking about how we missed Mr. Hemwall, an old high school teacher who died a while back.

Somehow, as traveling down memory lane does perhaps, I was led down the rabbit hole of nostalgia, came across old writings (I used to write a lot), emailed old snippets of correspondences to old friends), contacted old loves, and began to cry.

Here's the first journal I can find (the ones written earlier are missing, but I hope to find them soon -- I may have printed them and they are in my garage) from my first real traveling abroad time -- England.

october 28, 2000 - saturday, oxford, England

dear mom and dad,
isnt wonderful that life is so paradoxical? It struck me this morning when
I read in II Kings of the lepers being white as snow. paradoxes keep me
guessing. It is like a riddle sometimes.
well, I em up and doing these days, doing what I do. Of late, I have
fallen further into movie watching. but, never fear, I do it at night in
exchange for sleep! just kidding.
on thursday when i left off writing you i realised i was too late for bell
ringing class (i guess i had too much fun writing that silly poem). i thus
just walked about oxford for a bit and then returned to st michael's hall
a bit later to catch a bit of news on the telie (i am trying to climb
without the classical world). soon i was in bed reading winnie the pooh so
as to turn my children's books in to the library the next day.
friday i woke early and celebrated morning prayer with the keble chaplain.
i was also able to connect with him about all saints convent for he had
just this past sunday preached there. i then dined at keble hall for
breakfast with friend john. by 9:30 i was studying away in the library
(shelley), at 1 i caught lunch at keble meeting a bio-genetics grad and a
french/german fresher (freshman). i was able to detect that tom, the bio
gen chap, was from northern england!!!!!!!!! i found it quite an
achievment. from thence, jotted back to st. michael's to check out books
on shakespeare and then dashed to eagle and child. i had a splendid
evening working. i discussed medicine with many customers (one a nurse and
one a biochem major). at 7 i "got off" work and returned to st. michael's
for a shower and a movie marathon of sorts....elizabeth (the virgin
queen), an ideal husband (adapted from oscar wilde's play), and primal
fear (which i do recommend. i found the topic, how to detect and blame
guilt or innocence, intriguing). in between i made a stop at the pembroke house where we discussed how so many people are now "night owls" as well as discussed the
bitterness britains feel for now not being a world power. both, i must
admit, were not my topics, but nonetheless i was able to sneak in a couple
depeche mode songs.
today, this morning, i awoke about 10 and tromped about the part of oxford
i had not yet been, down botley road. and i can tell you, tis best i didnt
go for all i found was sad sad industrialization. the kind, which i think
made phillip larkin and auden so bloody bitter (this brings me to a
thought i had when i woke this morning...england aged like bob
dylan.....badly). what, perhaps saved me from insanity was a good walk
through the grandpa's attic section of the Ashmolean museum. i saw some
gloves on Queen elizbeth, some shoes of Princess Anne, signatures of
CHarles I and II, and the death mask Cromwell wore when he was murdered. i
stopped in at the theatre house to buy a ticket for tonight's performance
of "the importance of being earnest" but alas, they were sold out. i then
melted into a seat at the coffee republic with a warm cup of steamed milk
with irish cream syrup. mmm...hmmm. soon the sky began to bless the earth
with its life giving waters in such an extreme way that i was driven
indoors. the blustr'y morning had turned into a wet afternoon. what better way to
celebrate the occasion but then with a movie? "welcome to sarajevo" is a
sad, realistic, well made movie that recalled to my mind the hatred
mankind can bare eachother. therefore, i am now off to "the turf," a pub
where friend blake works. I am hoping to read shelley in an old fashioned
atmosphere. if this fails, i will retreat to blackwells bookstore, to read
in at least a literary atmosphere. perhaps even borders for they may have
live jazz (they had some last night).
forgive me but i have forgotten to mention that live music is about these
days. the other day i walked down cornmarket street (the main strip) and a
folkish/fiddling band called the "huckleberries" was a playing. i thought
of jane-alice, my huckleberry friend. today as i walked down the same
street a jazzy band was playing "summertime and the living is easy..."
mmm,hmmmm, it was wonderful!!!!!!!! life is all about these live music
interludes. i hope your day finds such a joy today.

No comments: