And, I have a new
writing station at my friend Delia’s little cottage in Whittier. I’m here for my
third time as I try to cultivate memoir writing space, picking up from where I
left off last summer after VONA (Voices of Our Nation’s Art Foundation). VONA is meeting again this summer in Miami,
and I elected to stay in So Cal in prep for the baby’s arrival in
September. Indeed, I let go of going to
Anzaldua (a conference I was to present at) as well as MALCS in order to
focus. It feels good overall, but I do really
want to pick up again Becoming a Woman of
Color: A Travel Memoir.
I’ve got a lot to
pull from: my travels of the last 16 years or so (which I began to process and
write on while at VONA), our life of a sailboat, and now, my maternity. The issue at hand, as is the case normally,
is believing that I have something to say, believing that my story matters, and
letting this true voice and story of mine come out. I do have the good news that my first academic paper has been published by El Mundo Zurdo and Aunt Lute Press. So, there's that.
Still, the need for a writing place outside
where I live, thus the need for space to reflect in gratitude, thus the need
for some inspiration.
Inspiration: it’s
time to look again at those VONA notes.
I have been
writing poetry about becoming a mother as well as creating daily paintings on
the subject too. These are
accomplishments as are my established routines of these past three weeks:
prenatal yoga, morning walks with friends, gym squats and arm exercises,
swimming laps and helping Oliver get used to the pool (hopefully), acupuncture
and chiropractor visits, playing lullabies for the baby with my guitar and
voice, healthy protein rich diet with prenatal vitamins, oiling my body, and a
few larger works of art.
 |
| Full Moon/Venus-Jupiter Thoughts from Chani |
Nevertheless, I’m
seeking that fire (in the belly?) that I must simply write about this or this…
Doctor, you tell
me …
Midwife, you tell
me…
Mother, you tell
me...???
Or,
Growing up and motherhood…tackling
inner demons of what this all means? How
living on a boat and not an apartment or home help. Doing it uniquely…trying to not repeat the
same mistakes of my parents, my mother…
Or, the silence of
growing a baby…
