21 January 2011

burlesque in my 30s

took my first burlesque class finally. i've been talking
about it for a while. it seems like a healthy hobby for my 30s.
the website told me to bring heels (i brought my salsa shoes pictured above),
comfy clothes, lipstick, and attitude.
i'm hoping to convince some womyn to come out with me because it was
such a liberating and fun time.

12 January 2011

a creatrix, a wall, a room of my own

My mom's been sick lately...

My mom's been sick, and I recently thought through the things I like or I will miss when she passes:

Your cooking…breakfast in the morning eggs or pancakes or oatmeal.


Your laugh…big, uncontrollable.

Your love of old movies and movies we watched as kids…arsenic and old lace, home alone, etc.

Your creativity…the art supplies packed up in the garage that indicate art can be created anytime.

Your love for Oliver…your grandpuppy.

Laying in bed with you watching tv.

Your magazines…Martha, better homes…

Your garden

Your search for a cultural identity you can be proud of.

Your visits to the places and cities and countries I was living in…

That's my mom on the left

11 January 2011

Trying to remember who i am....

It's a start.


I am los angeles.

I am frosted flakes in the morning.

I am he-man and she-ra

I am rainbow bright.

I am Disneyland.

I am the mall down the street.

I am the starbucks on every corner when I need it.
I am family arguments on Sunday morning.

I am chubby little Filipina Spanish something girl.

I am anorexic for God.

I am mom, come out of your room.

I am husband, don’t jump.

I am dad, don’t tell me what to do.

I am homecoming court.

I am straight A student.

I am creatrix.
I am dance.

I am red.

I am anger and vulnerability.

I am fierce and shameless.

08 January 2011

Art for a friend


I've been enjoying the creative process and found this artwork quite cathartic.

06 January 2011

Blessings

I take my grandparents to mass. But, I’m not Catholic, so I can’t receive communion. I was baptized as a baby, but never made those first and holy communions, so this means I’m excluded from the body and blood. However, I can go up to the front and receive a blessing. And, I like this...alot.

Usually, it’s from a lay woman like myself, and I like that too. I like that they are women. Some will say, “Blessings on you,” and some pause not knowing what to say; I think they must not get folks wanting blessings often.

Nevertheless, I love it. It seems so real to me. A stranger’s hand on my forehead, her words spoken to the world as an offering of what might come my way, and me eager to receive.

Here’s how it goes. As I approach the front, I cross my arms over my chest. This cues the giver to put away the wafer and to extend her hand out to me directly. I bow my head slightly to make my forehead more accessible, and that’s that. The music’s playing, the people are shuffling, and I’m waiting to hear the words I’m meant to receive. After the blessings, I pass by the wine too and make my way to my seat.

I think I will start collecting and recording the blessings!


04 January 2011

Womanifesto

for 2011


Self-love and forgiveness. Regardless. Dance. Dancing. Community. Trust and intimacy. Welcome shadow self both angry and vulnerable. No and yes. Creatrix. Art. True and real. Seeking nurturing. Leaving drama. Transforming. Recognizing moments. Letting go. All is well. It is safe for me to be myself. I love myself.